He Needed to Know if He Was Straight or Gay

It was about seven thirty one sunny summer evening in 1993. My doorbell rang. I rose from my chair in the sitting room and went to find out who was there. Upon opening the door I saw a young man who looked about 20 years of age standing there.

"Good evening." I smiled as I asked him. “Can I help you?”

"I hope so. I'm looking for Andrew." the stranger told me.

I knew a fair number of Andrew's friends but I didn't recognise this person. "Andrew doesn't live here." I told him. "He lives a little way further down the street." said I never being a person to impart more information than necessary without a good reason.

"Yes I've been to his home. His mother said that he was up here with you." replied the fellow in blue denim jeans and a white T-shirt.

"Well I'm sorry but he's not here. He may however have gone to the off-licence and he'll be on his way round in a short while. How do you know Andrew?" I asked.

I could tell the fellow was a little bit shy and appeared somewhat nervous but he answered, "I work with him. He's a workmate of mine." he paused and then asked, "You're Iain aren't you?"

"Yes that's right my name is Iain. What's your name?"

"Henry."

"Well Henry, if Mary said that he is up here with me I guess he'll be coming round shortly so if you want to come in and wait for him please do."

Henry entered and I closed the door behind him. I followed him into the hall then ushered him into the sitting room. He was about 5’ 7” tall and of slim build. I got a strong smell of what I thought was Old Spice aftershave as I passed him and waving my hand I offered him a seat on the sofa. He gingerly sat on the very edge of the sofa in the corner nearest to the window and I asked, "Would you like something to drink. I've got beer or a soft drink?"

"A beer would be fine please." he told me.

I went to the fridge in the kitchen and returned with two cans of beer. "Do you need a glass?" I asked as I handed him a can.

“No this is fine.” he replied taking the can of Tennents Super lager from me .I sat on the and chair opposite him and we broke into our cans. "Do you mind if I smoke?" Henry asked.

"Not at all there's a ashtray on the coffee table in front of you." I pushed it closer to him.

He offered a cigarette packet, I took one from it then offered him a light. He sucked deeply on the cigarette. Then blew out the smoke from his lungs.

We spent the next 15 minutes or so getting to know a little bit about each other. I found out that he worked as a labourer on the building site where my friend Andrew worked and that they'd known each other for some months. Henry never relaxed properly and always being the wary person I wondered what he was up to especially as Andrew had not yet put in an appearance.

"I wonder what happened to Andrew?" I pondered aloud. "Did his mother say what time he left to come up here?" I asked Henry.

"No."

"Well I expect he'll be here eventually. How's your beer do you need another one?" I enquired.

"Iain. I'm sorry I'm a bit nervous." was his reply.

"You have no need to be nervous Henry. I've known Andrew for about 15 years. He often takes longer than he expects to, but if you have somewhere else to go then I'll tell him you called."

"No it's not that." he took a long sip of his beer and then offered me another cigarette which I accepted. "I didn't go to Andrew's mother's. In fact it’s you I came to see." he finished then adjusting his position he leaned right back into the corner of the sofa as though withdrawing.

"I see. D’you want to tell me what you came to see me about? If there's anything I can do to help I'll be happy to. Presumably Andrew told you to come to see me for some reason?" I could see he was still showing some nervousness and wanted to put him at ease. "Any friend of Andrew's can be a friend of mine. Relax and tell me what's on your mind."

"I'm not sure where to start." said the young man with the fairly plain oval shaped clean shaven face, heavy straight eyebrows over brown sparkling eyes and wavy medium length dark brown/black hair that though parted on the right side of his head tended to be a bit unruly. He continued with his explanation, "Since I've been working with Andrew we became good friends and one day we were talking about girls. Somehow I felt comfortable talking to him. He was so easy to get on with and I liked him a lot. We’d shared our tea beaks and we got to know each other." He hesitated as though thinking how best to proceed. "Do you know his boys?  He was nicer that the other men on the site. Anyway I mentioned that I didn't know if I was interested in girls not." He finished talking and took a sip from the beer can.

"Yes I know his boys. In fact I looked after his eldest son Jack for three months when he was only 14 months old and Andrew was having difficulty. He split for a while from Jack’s mother but didn't want to leave his sone with her.. So Jack lived with me. I was good for changing nappies, feeding the kid and doing everything for him so Andrew could continue at work. I loved having the kid.” I laughed adding “Andrew’s mother was not happy as she thought she should have been the one to look after the baby. Anyway go on; you were talking about girls." I encouraged him to continue.

"I didn’t know that." He stubbed his cigarette out in the ashtray. "Well anyway, I'm 22 year old now and I've only been with two girls in my life I told him." He hesitated, placed his empty can on the coffee table, looked at me then asked in a quieter voice, "I would like another beer please, if you’ve got one?"

"Sure. No problem. I'll go get one. Here have a cigarette in the meantime." I dropped a packet of cigarettes on the coffee table in front of him.

On my way to the kitchen I wondered where this was all leading? Had he got a girl into trouble? What on earth can Andrew have told him? On my return I gave him the fresh can of chilled beer and cracked open another one for myself. Sitting back I lit a cigarette and motioned for him to continue.

"We'll one day I plucked up the courage and said to Andrew that I think I might not be so interested in girls. I was shy to say it but maybe I was turned on by men. He told me that when he was a little bit younger than me he’d been confused about his sexuality and after a lot of chat he told me that he had a gay friend and that I should go and talk to him because he felt it would help me to understand more about myself and my feelings."

"Yes I remember well when Andrew was in his late teens he was confused about his sexuality and we chatted about that at the time." I paused. “It was a passing phase in his life though. I guess it happens to many people.”

"Well Andrew told me that you were gay and that he'd known you for many years. Wow! you looked after his kid too. That’s something else. He asked me not to tell anyone else because the people around here don't know about you."

"No Henry that's true. People around here don't know about me and I'm quite happy for it to stay that way."

"That's a relief because I was a bit frightened and I think you could see that I was nervous as a kitten when I came in here." He smiled and I was pleased to see that little sign of tension release.

"Um Um." I said. "I could see you were just a little bit nervous but I put that down to you being in a stranger's house and waiting for your friend. However with the can of beer and the music playing in the background I'm glad you feel a little bit more comfortable now. Less nervous huh. Just relax Henry. You told me why you came and that must have been the hardest part for you. That took a lot of courage. You have confidence and I respect you and your honesty. Surely there is nothing that you need to worry about now. We can talk about this, you can feel free and open with me and whatever we say to each other will go no farther than these four walls.” I waved my arm indicating the room we sat in. ” In time we can sort everything out." I paused and offered him another cigarette which he accepted. "You're not the first young guy to find yourself confused about your sexuality and believe me you won't be the last. OK?"

Henry took time explaining to me about his encounter with the girls and how he had been disappointed. He told me that he had not been aroused though he had enjoyed kissing one of them on two a three different occasions before they tried to have sex together.

He also explained that it had taken him a few months to mention to Andrew that he had a problem. He said he was ashamed of his feelings and how he had been very wary of bringing it up at all but that somehow one day he'd just taken the bull by the horns. Then he explained how he'd felt so relieved and a great deal more comfortable when Andrew turned out to be supportive rather than making fun of him which he understood could have been the result of his revealing his secret desires.

We spent the next hour chatting about life, sex, and a variety of subjects while sharing another couple of cans of beer. I didn't want to push the situation at all I wanted him to take his time and come to terms with himself and what he was now discovering. Eventually after a period of silence between us I asked him, "Do you want to stroll out for a beer and we might find Andrew in the local bar?"

"Not really." he told me then asked "Do you have any plans for the evening?"

"No. I guess I'm happy here with you, I might watch whatever's on television later or... whatever Henry." I told him. "But no. I'm free to do whatever you want. I just want you to feel comfortable and relaxed and I feel flattered that you came to visit me. I’m pleased too that Andrew gave you support and good advice. He’s a terrific friend and always has been to me."

"I'd like to use your toilet please."

"It's at the top of the stairs on the left. Go and help yourself." I told him. I wondered if he was always so polite or if that too was a result of his nerves.

Sitting on my own waiting for him to return I naturally wondered how far he would want to take this matter on this summer evening. I felt that having made my acquaintance he might want to leave it there and perhaps decide to chat to me further on another day. I went through to the kitchen and took the last two cans of beer out of the fridge. As I was returning along the hall I met him at the foot of the stairs and stood back so that he could enter the sitting room in front of me.

Placing the two cans on the coffee table I sat on the other end of the settee facing him. "You feel better now yes?"

"Iain?” he looked questioningly at me. “Yes I feel very much better. I'm a little bit embarrassed but I’m so happy that we had this chat. I don't feel so odd now. Will you tell Andrew that I came to see you?"

"Do you want me to tell him?"

"I'm not sure."

"Well Henry it is entirely up to you. I told you at the beginning of our chat that anything that passes between us would go no further than these four walls. But Andrew may ask me if you came around. So I need to know how you feel about that."

"Do you know what I would really like?" Henry asked?

I lean back into the cushions and spread my left arm along the back of the settee. I looked at him sitting there. I waited for him to return my look and when I knew I had his undivided attention I said, "No Henry. Tell me what you would really like." I smiled and leaned forward to pick up my beer can.

"Well." he hesitated while still looking directly at me. "I'd like to know what it's like to have sex with a man. It might not work out and I'm nervous but I'd like to try it with you if you'd do that for me."

"If you feel it's the right thing to do. I'll be happy to guide you. We should take things nice and easily. I want you to feel relaxed and comfortable. I don't want you to feel that you have to do anything that you're not happy with. Okay?"

"No mate. You've been very kind to me and I think you've been understanding. When I was upstairs in the toilet I was wondering whether or not I should ask you because I just met you today. I decided it wasn't a good idea. Then on the way down the stairs I realised that if I didn't do it now I will just put it off and I'd have to start going through the whole embarrassing scene again." He took a sip from his can. I said nothing hoping that he would continue. "If we can go to your bedroom and I'd like it to be dark. I don't want to wait any longer. I need to know what its like."

I knew the curtains were already drawn in the bedroom so I was stretched out my left hand to him and said, "Okay. There's no time like the present. Let's go and do it."

We both rose from the settee, he took hold of my hand, I led him through from the sitting room to the bedroom which was next door. Inside the bedroom I switch the light on leaving the dimmer on its minimum setting so that there was just sufficient glow for us to see the large king-size bed stretched out before us with its maroon counterpane spread across. I closed the door and still holding his hand I put my right arm around him, guided him toward me and gently hugged him closely with my cheek against his. He released my hand and putting both hands behind my back he pressed me against him. We kept this tender embrace for over a minute whilst I felt the tension in his body dissipate. I let my arms slip down over his shoulders whilst turning my face toward his. His arms were still pressing against my back and holding me tightly. I gently took his ear lobe between my teeth and then releasing it turned my face further towards his until my lips were against his cheek.

After finding each other's lips we gently kissed and I parted his with my tongue, not forcefully but with a tenderness and care that would allow him to know there was no rush. Henry had his back to the bed and taking his left hand from behind my back he lowered himself taking his weight on his left hand while his right-hand pulled me with him as he lay down. I ended up lying on top of him. By the time we were laid out on the bed I felt his arousal through his jeans against my leg. Now he was completely relaxed and returned my kisses with a deep passion. Feeling confident that all was going well his hands started to explore my body and from that moment on I knew that everything was going to be all right this evening.

It was about three weeks later that I saw Henry again. I was walking along Penge High Street on a Saturday afternoon when I spied him standing outside Fosdick's, the newsagents looking into the window. I went and stood alongside but slightly behind him. "Good afternoon Henry." I intoned as I approached.

At the sound of my voice he turned his head in my direction, his face changed into a beaming smile. "Hi Iain. How are you mate?"

"Not so bad. How are you?"

"I'm okay. Where are you off to?" he asked.

I returned his smile. "I like the outfit. Black jeans, black shirt, that really suits you. I'm going in here to buy a photographic Magazine. After that I guess I'm going home. How about you?"

"I'm on my way home I just been visiting my sister." he told me. "Can I come back with you after you get your book?"

I gave him a beaming smile, "Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to have you with me if you’re ready for your second lesson." I laughed hoping that he would appreciate what I hoped was my subtle sense of humour.

"Yes mate. I reckon I'm definitely ready for lesson two now." I moved toward the shop doorway and he followed me saying, "I might as well come in because I need to buy some cigarettes."

That afternoon we went back to my bedroom and explored each other's bodies and did everything I could think of to each other. We spent about an hour in the bedroom. I asked him if we could leave the lights on and when he immediately acquiesced I knew I was making good progress with my project. On leaving the bedroom we showered together then spent a further hour in the sitting room drinking a beer and discussing aspects of gay life and I was able to answer questions that he had asked. Before leaving he asked me if I knew any bars that were not too distant but away from the local area where he might find other gay people.

When I met Henry for the third time it was a result of him ringing my doorbell one evening. "It's been a couple of weeks since I last saw you but I was abit shy to just come around." he told me as we sat down on the settee.

"That's OK."

"In fact I set out once to come but I lost my bottle a couple of hundred yards away and went back home."

"Henry. For heavens sake. We are friends now so until you no longer need my help you must never feel lke that." I tried to re-assure him. "Beer or something else?" I asked.

"I brought you a beer. Here." he passed me a carrier bag with two cans inside.

"I'll put these in the fridge and bring you a cold one shall I?"

"Sure." he answered. "Thanks."

On my return with the cold beers he told me that he'd been to Croydon and visited the gay bar that I'd told him about after our recent session. I asked him if he'd met anyone interesting and he told me that he had.

"Excellent. do you want to talk about it? Tell me what happened etc.?"

I lisdtened attentively while he explained how he had been chatted up by some fellow and had gone for a drive in his car because the chap lived with friends and they had nowhere else to go.

"You should be careful as that can be dangerous." I pointed out. "You never know where you can end up in a car with a stranger."

"No I felt safe after all you'd told me and I even remembered what you said and made sure I used a comdom."

"You had condoms with you? So you were really expecting to get off." I said a little surprised that he'd bought condoms.

"No I didn't have any, but I asked him for one." Henry laughed as he continued. "At first he said he had none so I said I wouldn't screw him without one so he searched his glove compartment and found one. I'd had a few beers but I still had my wits about me didn't I?"

"Henry. I'm proud of you. You did exactly the right thing." I raised my beer can in a toast,"Here's to condoms." I said and we clinked cans and took a draught of beer each.

"It sure is uncomfortable in a car though." he opined with a grin.

"You're right about that." I agreed."I've experienced it more than once. back seat and front."

Hernry laughed at that then picked up his beer. "Your bed is far more comforatable so how about we go there and fuck each other tonight?"

"Your wish is my command. I thnk you know most of what you need toknow by now so it's good you made that suggestion as it shows you're capable of taking the lead in relationships. Give me a big hug." I stood up and opened my arms as I asked.

"Iain you're my teacher and you doing a great job." he told me with a smile as wide as the Nile showing his white even teeth and his eyes were sparkling with joy as he too stood up. We hugged our way into the bedroom and collapsed on the big bed a pair of happy lovers.

That turned out to be our penultimate session together. However by this time I'd taught him most of what I knew myself and I believe we both enjoyed and benefited enormously from the experience.

I only ever saw Henry once after that. It happened as a pure coincidence. We were both returning from London and met on the train from Victoria to Penge. He'd been in Oxford Street buying underwear he told me. He was carrying a paper bag and he asked, “Would you like me to come back with you so that I can put them on and get your opinion on how they look when I’m wearing them?”

“Sure would.” I told him and beamed my best smile across the carriage to him.

He returned my smile with a coy look in his eye saying, “I hoped you’d say OK? I think you’ll like them.”

When we arrived at my home I told him to go into the bedroom and put them on. "Call me when you're ready and I'll give you my appraisal of how you look before I take them all of you and make passionate love with you." I closed the front door adding as he walked along the hall, “You’ve no objection to that I guess.”

“Sounds good Iain,” he stopped and looked at me then said, “but in that case it’s better I go take a shower first, before I put them on. I feel sweaty after travelling all day."

"Of course you can. You know where everything is. But after I take your new sexy pants off you'll be just as sweaty and need another shower before you leave." I said laughing as I headed for the kitchen. "Do you want a beer?"

"No I don't need a beer but if you got a soft drink that'd be great." Henry went up to the bathroom.

I had the beer ready and was lying on the bed, hands clasped behind my head, wearing only my own underpants when he returned. He stopped on entering the bedroom, looked over at me, smiled then struck a pose. I always regret not asking if I could take some pictures of him. He’d bought himself a black string vest and a pair of the skimpiest black briefs that I'd seen in a long time. The pouch barely concealed his cock.

“Wow. Are you sure? That’s fabulously sexy. Lift the vest let me see the six pack.” Henry did as I asked. “Now turn around let’s see the back.” He swivelled on the ball of his foot and faced the door. The vest hung down just below the small of his back and the briefs all but disappeared between the white cheeks of his rounded buttocks. “Yes they look fantastic and show your arse off beautifully. Now swagger yourself over here and lie beside me so that I can feel the texture.” I instructed.

The material of the briefs was a manmade fibre and had a light sheen over it. I felt it and put my fingers inside the leg opening. This caused him to get an immediate erection and his cock popped out by his belly button. I kissed the acorn before slipping the exotic garment down over his hips. He pressed my head down until I gagged as his penis came against my tonsils. Needless to say I was now so excited and in such ecstasy that he didn't wear them or the vest for very long.

We both finished that session then washed each other in the shower. The suds and shampoo covered the tiles and glass door as our final frenzy of activity took both of us to another unexpected crescendo.  With towels we emerged from the cubicle and finally dried each other while laughing and enjoyed our shared happiness and experiences. The memories that we made during his exploration of his sexuality on those four sessions I doubt that either of us will ever forget as long as we live. I’ve not seen Henry from that day to this so I have no idea what became of him. I asked him neither where he lived nor if he had a phone number. He came to me for help, information and practice; I was only his mentor, emotion nor inquisitiveness had no part to play in that relationship.

Philip, my regular partner whom I saw regularly though we did not live together at that time, he lived in Thamesmead, asked me some two months later if I was still tutoring my pupil and I told him that I'd not seen Henry for a considerable time. "This has been the longest period since I gave him his last lesson so I guess he probably knows all he needs to know and I’ll probably never see him again."

Philip smiled and said, "I sincerely hope you're right because he really pissed me off."

"Yes my love. I know that. And I'm truly sorry because I know you strongly disapproved of me helping him." I put my arms around him and give him a big hug. "Would you have preferred if I'd never told you?"

"No of course not." Philip looked me in the eye and continued, "We have always said we'd be honest with each other and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Okay. Thank you for that. I don't think he needs any more lesson so if he ever does come back I’ll tell him that there's nothing more I can teach him. So you can put your mind to rest now it's finished."

"Is that a promise?"

"Yes Philip that is a promise." I held him closely, kissed him passionately then said, "Lets go and make love together now."